I got a job recently for the first time and I do not like the idea of working 9-5 at all. Technically a part time intern, actually regularly doing 8-6, and all I can think about is how my job literally only exists because it is only barely financially a better decision than having someone sit down and program the CAD program to spit out the drawings automatically instead, and how the final price the customer pays for the things I'm making CADDs of is almost always at least more than 100% more the price we sell them to the distributor for - at ridiculous dollar values I didn't even know was possible to be spending on this kind of thing.
Any number of dollars can be gotten per hour, but there are only ever 24 hours in a day.
I don't want to do 9-5/8-6 for the rest of my life at anything. Waking up that early and doing work about that much per day is probably unavoidable, but solid blocks of time to one thing, under HR, under someone else's payroll, at someone else's place, getting paid at scrap rate for something I really don't care too much for? That's probably somewhat avoidable. I understand why a lot of people do it, but I don't need that. Even for safety margins, I don't see much of a point. What's the point in having enough money to buy health insurance for when you get sick, if all you're really doing with it is making sure you can still go to work? If I must die, then I guess I'll die. If all I do with my life is make someone else (who?) money, what is so important about living? Traditionally the answer is family but politics and culture discussion aside I don't really have my own and it doesn't look like I will have one so it doesn't really matter, and being stuck in front of a computer for 8-10 hours a day 5 days a week cranking out CADDs ain't about to help change that either.
I spent the week before and the first week of work too anxious/tired to really draw, but from this week forward I'm going to make sure I draw every hour I'm at home. I don't live alone so I already have the conveniences of not making my own food, doing own laundry etc. so there really is no excuse. If Akiko Higashimura could do it while working at a call center, I should be able to eke something out. (If you haven't read "Kakukaku Shikajika
", go do it.)
It was basically a joke to me before, but freelancing porn commissions doesn't sound too bad now. If it means I can do something more related to what I like and have some control how many hours on which days I work, it's better than anything that doesn't have those qualities.
I am going to be trying to get known to some non-nonexistent level during my time at this internship/job, and the best option available to me as far as I can tell at the moment is animu stuff. Have to move the schedules up on learning composition and some other things up, and the schedules for realistic rendering etc. down. Obviously still studying and learning stuff (I still really don't know what it means to create a full original piece), but now the need is greater and the time/energy is lower so I must be more efficient with it.
Below is something I did earlier, but am probably not going to be filling up or continuing for a long time, so I thought I'd post it before I forgot about it. Left is referenced, the others are imagination.